Gerrymandering Won't Fit In Scrabble

My milkman brings all the milk to the door, and I’m like “Is it Avonmore?” and he’s like “I ain’t too sure” so I said “Find out you whore!” Ya ya, ya ya yaaaa. The milk is waiting. Ya ya, ya ya yaaaa. It is stagnating. ©Jack Lynskey

Work Experience can be an awkward place. I have been assigned a desk next to the sexually ambiguous Jess. While frantically typing gibberish into my PC, I felt Jess’ leg brush off mine. I dismissed it as an accident. However, it happened again, twice in fact. It was then I realised that Jess had slipped off her high heels. She was clearly filled with lust and passion. Upon this realisation, I uploaded onto Youtube. Now, I have to buy the company a new keyboard. Turns out I was full of passion also. What did they expect after making my type “Buttress” so many times?

On a lighter note, I recently purchased “Pooh Bear’s Delight” icecream from Maud’s. Immediately hating myself afterwards, I logged onto their website to check the nutritional value of their ice cream, to see how long I would need to use my ButtBuster for to burn off the calories. When I clicked onto their list of flavours, I saw they had a flavour called “Pokemauds”. There is no price I wouldn’t pay.

I just heard on Country Mix 106.8 an ad for The Cock Tavern in Swords. If you want an ad to appeal to men, don’t use the words “cock” and “succulent” in the same sentence.

Good day. Conor