Not that the title has anything to do with me.
It’s amazing how offensive pensions are. As a matter of fact they are not offensive at all, it’s just that when I see ‘pension’ what I read is ‘no penis’ and I’m like “DO NOT GO THERE MY THROBBING MANHOOD IS JUST WAITING TO BE RELEASED FROM ITS DEMIN PRISON”. It’s because they’re anagrams doofus.
I hate Hollywood stupidity. Some posters for the film ‘Salt’ carry the tagline “Can you find Salt?” and there’s a massive picture of Angie, who plays Salt. Come on. Since no one is that stupid I must conclude that they in fact are searching in vain for table salt. Perhaps they are opening a chipper.
An annoying (and henceforth anonymous) person keeps attempting to ‘Chat” with me on Facebook. In an attempt to prevent this, I took the advice of a friend and used large words to scare him. He is, needless to say from the “minimalist” school of typing. Here is what was said (It’s not for the faint of heart. Or the faint of grammar):
Me: Did you have a marvelously indulgent trifecta of months?
20.54 J*nathon: wat do u mean by dat
20.55 Me: Have you been courting a young madam?
20:56 J*nathon: ye wbu
20.58 Me: have you been participating in any forms of pre-marital cunnilingus with your esquired member of the fairer sex?
21:00 J*nathon: no wby
21:04 Me: Why yes, I stumbled across a brothel betwixt and between the street of Talbot, and the fair maiden doth giveth me a glance of her garments! For shame!
21:06 J*nathon: kwl
I don’t need a totem, Cobb, I have a massive dick instead.